Blue Screen of Death
by Scribbler
Summary: Sora, Goofy and Donald learn that there are parts of Tron's world where being shot at is the least of their problems. You really have to reassess your life when told to watch out for falling cakes and killer janitors.


**Disclaimer****:** Technologically not mine.

**A/N****: **Originally written for the challenge 'Cakewalk' on KH Drabble. Based entirely on atariprotos. com/2600/software/cakewalk/cakewalk. htm. I wish I'd had this as a kid, but Frogger was my game.

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_**Blue Screen of Death**_

© Scribbler, January 2010.

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"This is the area." Tron's carefully modulated tone wasn't reassuring. Sometimes he seemed so human, it was difficult to remember he wasn't. Computer programmes weren't supposed to sound so suspicious. Right now, Tron sounded like he knew something he wasn't telling them.

Sora looked around. Everything seemed extra blocky here. That was the only way he could describe the massive slabs of colour he and his friends periodically had to scale. They'd abandoned all transport except feet a while back 'for system capacity reasons'. Sora wasn't quite sure what that meant, but everyone else seemed to know, and he didn't want to show himself up by asking. Besides acting way too human, Tron was good at everything he attempted, which made Sora constantly compare himself without really knowing why. He'd missed lessons about puberty and male ego while saving the universe.

Sudden clanking claimed his attention. Tron's momentarily panicked look didn't help. When his eyes flicked upwards Sora's followed, but he couldn't understand why the blue blocks above would cause such a reaction. Unless…

"Are those gonna fall?"

Donald squawked. Even Goofy looked worried. If the blocks dropped one at a time they could avoid them, but if they came down together that would be impossible. Since each was car-sized that could get messy. They could smash them as they fell, but Sora had learned brute strength didn't always work with computers and their failsafes. Last week they'd tried to get some old files and encountered the Tetris security system. Those falling blocks had shattered under a Keyblade, but the shards were still dangerous. Donald still hadn't forgiven Sora for shaving his tail, even though it was intact when they logged out.

"No," Tron answered.

"So what's going on?"

"Oh no."

Sora noticed the door opening ahead. Considering Tron's reaction, suddenly the darkness beyond looked extra threatening. He was so busy watching it, he missed what was happening above.

"Sora, look out!" Goofy yelled.

Sora jumped. The missile splatted where he'd been only moments ago.

Waitacottonpickingminute – _splatted_?

"Damn it, missed another one," boomed a voice.

"Damn it, he missed another one," grumbled the old man in overalls. He emerged from the doorway brandishing a broom like a deadly weapon. It lacked half its bristles and its middle was wrapped in tape. His hat read 'Bakery Janitor'. His grumblings were unrepeatable as he hit a button and the clanking stopped.

"Sorry!" boomed the voice.

"I'll bet. If you were really sorry you'd quit dropping the damn things." The janitor advanced on the remains of the cake, then caught sight of Sora's group. "What are _you_ doing back here? This part of the system is off-limits! Why I oughta –"

"Run," said Tron.

"What?"

But he was already gone. Sora, Donald and Goofy followed in confusion.

When they finally stopped Donald demanded, "What was _that_ about?"

"Too late," Tron said.

"What?"

"He saw us. The C.A.K.E programme is what I needed your help with. It restarted recently after a temporary shutdown. Nobody has ever been able to shut it down permanently because the janitor always catches them."

"What happens if he catches you?" Goofy asked.

"And what's C.A.K.E.?" Donald added.

"Culling of Atari Klassified Extensions. A type of surplus data removal system for when the Temporary Files overflow. It was fatally flawed when it couldn't recognise between types of data and started removing anything and everything – or everyone – but nobody's ever been able to turn it off because if he catches you, you _become_ surplus data."

"Baked in a cake," Sora said incredulously. "And I thought magic was weird. It has _nothing_ on technology."

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_**Fin.**_

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End file.
